How Does Marriage Counseling Work? Here's What to Expect

Are you a couple in North Carolina, wondering if your relationship can be saved?

You’ve probably tried working on your difficulties alone, and maybe you’ve asked friends for advice. Have you considered marriage counseling?

The suggestion may fill you with fear, insecurity, and doubt, but if you love your partner, you’ll want to work things out. A sad fact about marriages is that half end in divorce, but yours doesn’t have to.

You might be wondering: “How does marriage counseling work?” We’ve prepared a guide to tell you all you need to know about couples therapy. Read on!

Background Story

Understandably, a couple would want to know what to expect at marriage counseling. There are quite a few misconceptions about the purpose of sessions, and most people might consider it a last resort.

In some cases, couples do seek marriage counseling when their relationship is on the rocks, but it also has value for those who are new to marriage and want to get off to a good start.

Couples therapy is open to all those in a relationship, regardless of marital status. If you want to be together and work things out, it’s a place to learn the skills to communicate and the root causes that prevent growth.

Does marriage counseling work? The American Psychological Association claims that couples therapy is effective in 75% of cases, with current practice methods.

It is better if you are both together for your sessions, but you could initially go individually. That’s because, at first, your counselor will ask a lot of questions to understand how you both arrived at your present situation. You may feel that no progress is being made, but be patient since this is a crucial stage where the therapist gains insight into your relationship.

Work on Communication

What about the quarter of couples that didn’t work things out – did they waste their time? Not at all, although some individuals in marriage therapy may come to realize that the relationship should end, the therapist can help things close on good terms.

By ending a relationship in a healthy way, you will not carry any emotional baggage to your next chapter. You will also have learned important communication skills that you will continue to benefit from in future relationships.

Once you and your partner set foot in the office of a relationship therapist, you have taken a clear step towards making things better. You’ve both demonstrated to each other that you want things to work out.

In marriage therapy, learning to listen is one of the most important breakthroughs. Being in the presence of an unbiased third party encourages empathy and emotional sensitivity towards your partner. That said, it can be uncomfortable sharing some private issues and reopening past wounds.

Occasionally, emotions may overcome participants, and that’s okay. A marriage therapist will help guide partners to be open to one another. Once individuals can hear one another, they can start working on the problems that have arisen from poor communication.

Problem Solving

Learning how to work together at solving problems is what marriage counseling is all about. Life never stops throwing challenging situations our way, and a healthy couple works together as a strong team.

Before you know how to tackle the future issues that arise, your therapist will help you overcome obstacles in your present and past that are holding you both back. Marriage counselors are trained to spot underlying connections that lead to breakthroughs. You may be surprised when the causes behind behaviors and actions present themselves.

Often, the reason an argument keeps reoccurring is that the root cause is unresolved. Some partners are closed off to one another and emotionally unavailable. One partner may be unable to be intimate, and a private session may be required to make further progress.

Homework Assignments

You shouldn’t be surprised that during couples therapy, you will be set tasks that take place outside of sessions. To meet your relationship goals, you and your partner need to form healthy habits that are characteristic of a strong marriage.

Examples might include establishing a date night, setting aside time to chat with phones turned off, or massaging one another. By practicing the skills required for an intimate connection, they will become natural again. These assignments are often the experiences couples want within the relationship but have neglected and forgotten how to initiate.

Eventually, partners can establish patterns and routines that foster positive feelings, rather than the reverse. Love flows naturally when couples reinforce the bond of their relationship.

Maintaining Growth

Relationship therapy goes a long way towards growing the relationship you both want. You might feel that you have made significant progress in just a few months, but realize that as in all areas of life, growth should never stop.

Sometimes, couples will return to marriage counseling as needed to ensure that the relationship stays on the right path. Major life events may trigger a partner to relapse into old patterns or shut down communication for a while. Couples therapy can help renew your commitment to one another in a supportive environment that is judgment-free.

Marriage therapy can help a stagnant relationship grow even stronger than it once was. Together, you can rebuild a firm foundation of trust and honesty. Intimacy can return, and you can move forward as partners, aligned with one another.

You will learn how to cherish and value each other again, share your common interests, and remember how to have fun. Your new journey together starts now.