It’s not uncommon for married couples to fight. In fact, in some ways, it’s indicative of a healthy relationship. But what if it seems like you’re fighting all the time?
Every marriage has its issues. However, there are some problems that seem to get worse over time, not better. When couples can’t work their way through their issues, it becomes more serious.
Sadly, even the most common marriage problems can lead couples down the path of divorce. We want to help you prevent that from happening. Keep reading to learn more about common marriage issues every couple fights about.
Communication
One of the most common marriage problems is a lack of healthy communication. This can present itself in many ways.
Some people internalized their issues with their partners. In their mind, they think they’re doing their relationship a favor. However, these things have a way of building up and becoming explosive.
Alternatively, some people have coping mechanisms, like using humor or sarcasm when dealing with serious situations. As a result, their spouse doesn’t feel like they’re being taken seriously. Their emotions feel invalidated.
Furthermore, there are those (usually men) who refuse to be emotional. Modern society has taught men that emotions are weaknesses and somehow emasculate them. Unfortunately, this can lead to a stagnant, closed-off relationship.
Money
One of the most common problems with married couples revolves around money. When money is tight, everyone feels the stress. Sadly, 63% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck, which makes this problem all-too-real.
If one spouse feels they’re carrying more weight than the other, it can lead to feelings of resentment. They can start to feel bitter about working harder. They might start thinking they’d be much better off if their spouse worked as hard as they did.
Alternatively, the issue can stem from a disagreement about how money is spent. For example, if one spouse has less financial responsibility and control, it can cause issues.
There may also be disagreements about financial priorities. One spouse may feel like they need a new car while the other thinks the money is better spent on home renovations or paying down credit cards.
Kids
When it comes time to talk about kids, many married couples find themselves at odds with one another. It’s possible the couple never discussed whether or not they wanted kids before they got married.
When the topic comes up, it can lead to one of the most common marriage problems. One spouse wants children and the other wants to stay kid-free.
In blended family situations, pre-existing kids from previous marriages or relationships can raise problems with married couples. The biological parent may be overprotective of their child, which will cause a problem when the stepparent tries to discipline or come down on the child.
Finally, whether it’s a blended family or a traditional family, parents may disagree on how to raise their children. One parent may want a stricter, more regimented upbringing where the other prefers a more laid-back approach. This difference of opinion plays a role in everything from disciplinary actions to letting kids express themselves freely.
Sex
Infidelity is more common in marriages than it should be. When a spouse doesn’t feel like they’re getting their needs met at home, it’s natural for them to seek validation elsewhere.
We’re not saying cheating on your spouse is acceptable or excusable. However, it’s important to understand why it happens.
Sometimes, a person is just bored and, frankly, selfish. Other times, it’s because their spouse is no longer intimate with them. They may turn them down for sex regularly or show no interest at all in a physical relationship.
Fortunately, marriage counseling can help couples reconnect to find intimacy once more. A good couples counselor can introduce ways to reignite the spark in their relationship.
Anxiety and Depression
There are several toxic myths about marriage. One of them is that you’ll always be happy when you find the right person.
Real-life isn’t a fairy tale. Even the happiest couples fight, have arguments and feel hopeless at times.
These feelings can be caused or exacerbated by mental health issues like depression. Depression can chip away at marriage from two angles.
First, the person suffering from it can feel sad, hopeless, cold, and distant. They may also experience mood swings, irritability, anger, and resentment. In some cases, there’s nothing their partner can do to make things better.
Second, it’s common for the partner of someone who has depression to feel abandoned in a sense. Their loving, warm partner is now cold and distant. Suddenly, it’s like they’re living alone.
Sometimes, it can be just as hard to support your loved one through depression as it is to experience it yourself.
If you or your partner are experiencing depression or anxiety, we highly recommend seeking counseling. It can help treat the symptoms of the disease and save your relationship.
Trust
They say trust is one of the hardest things to build and easiest things to break. One of the most common marriage problems is trying to heal the relationship once trust has been broken.
Frequently, this is due to infidelity. Studies show that 15% of married women and 25% of married men cheat on their partner.
If a spouse has an affair, physically or emotionally, it can create a deep wound in the relationship. It can be difficult to ever trust your partner not to hurt you again. Unfaithfulness often leads to divorce.
If you and your spouse are having marital issues because of infidelity but don’t want to get a divorce, consider going to marriage therapy to help rebuild your relationship.
Are You Experiencing Common Marriage Problems?
Fighting with your spouse can feel emotionally exhausting, especially when it becomes a part of your daily routine. However, remember that arguments and disagreements are normal. Though, there is a line between healthy fighting and unhealthy fighting.
If you’re experiencing common marriage problems, you’re not alone. Furthermore, there’s help out there for you and your spouse.
If you still love your spouse and want to give your relationship a better chance, check out marriage counseling and/or sex therapy at our practice. Our couples counselors can help you learn better ways to communicate and address serious issues in your marriage.
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